I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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