What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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