Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
