Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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