would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
