In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
