I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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