i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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