got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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