I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
