i jhust puked up my retainher.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
