at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
