Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?

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(816): View more from Missouri

We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.

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(541): View more from Oregon

we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.

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(775): View more from Nevada

At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?

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(408): View more from California

You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.

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(906): View more from Michigan

Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?

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(404): View more from Georgia

Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Twice...

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(404): View more from Georgia

I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.

(404): View more from Georgia

First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it

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