Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
A+ Viking dick
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
