party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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