wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
