Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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