I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize