I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
