I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
