why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
