Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
