While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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