A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
