Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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