Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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