1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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