Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
