I think I died a long time ago.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
