After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
as a side note pls kill me
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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