Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
