It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
