im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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