Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
