i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
