dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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