and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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