So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
