respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i used baking grease as lip gloss
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
