May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
