Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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