He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
The adults are the big ones right?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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