your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
