hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
