I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
