I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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