Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
