See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
