Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
