look no pants
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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